Captain Hook and the Pirates (My version)
Neverland is a small island and one the sea was a lonely pirate ship and we hear singing going on there. We zoom in on the ship and see Captain Hook's pirates set up a flag of the Jolly Roger on the mast. Hook's Pirates: Oh a pirate's life is a wonderful life A-rovin' over the sea Give me a career as a buccaneer It's the life of a pirate for me Oh, the life of a pirate for me Some pirates are playing with darts on a picture of a crude drawing of Captain Hook on a door. Hook's Pirates: Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it's all over A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Davy Jones Just about then, the door opened and a short, fat, half-bald man with white hair, black eyebrows, and a pink nose, wearing spectacles, a red cap, a white-and-blue striped short-sleeved shirt, dark blue shorts, and brown sandals, named Mr. Smee, came out. Mr. Smee and Hook's Pirates: Oh, my good friend Davy Jones "Good morning, ship mates." Smee said only to get caught by Starkey. "And what's good about it, Mr. Smee?" asked the Starkey. "Here we are collecting barnacles on this miserable island!" a red-haired pirate said. "While his nibs plays ring-around-the rosy with Peter Pan." a small, long-haired pirate said sticking his gun at Smee. "Look out there. Might go off!" Smee panicked but got his neck in a rope knot by a buff pirate. "We ought to be tending to the business of looting ships." the buff pirate said. "Why, I've almost forgotten how to slit a throat." an Arabian pirate said, using his dagger and got Smee free. "Better drop it." the patch-wearing pirate said as they all threw daggers at the stairs as Smee tried to avoid them. "And tell the captain we want to put to sea, Smee!" the red-haired pirate said. All the pirates laughed as Smee stuck out his tongue and walked away. A tall, thin, mustachioed man with fair skin, long, curly, black hair and eyebrows, and brown eyes wearing a pink shirt with frilly cuffs, a white cravat, dark red pants, lavender knee-socks, black shoes with golden buckles, and a red coat with gold lining was looking at a map. He is Captain Hook. He had one of his hands cut off by Peter Pan and now has a silver hook and now he want revenge. "Blast that Peter Pan!" Hook snarled. "If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?" He starts to look at the map "Mermaid lagoon? No, we searched that. We've combed Cannibal Cove. But here!" He stuck his silver hook at the far north west on the map but then groaned "No, no, no, no. That's royal territ… But wait…" he took a good closer at the map "Those weasel guards know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder…" At that moment, Smee walked in. "Good morning, captain." "I'VE GOT IT!" Hook cheered as he grabbed Smee with his hook pulled him closer "Jane Darling, Smee!" "J-J-Jane Darling, captain?" Smee asked, very afraid. "Captain Pete's daughter!" Hook said, "She'll know where Pan is hiding." "B-B-But-But will she talk, captain?" asked Smee as Hook let go. "Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.. Now let me see. Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Marooning?" Hook said as he thought as another pirate named Skylights was singing horribly with his accordion. Skylights: Oh, a pirate's life Is a wonderful life You'll find adventure and sport But live every minute For all that is in it The life of a pirate is short Oh, the life Having enough of his singing, Hook got out a gun and aimed it. As Smee got the shaving pack ready, the shot was heard and Smee heard a accordion fall and splashed in the water. He took a look only to get splashed in the face. Hook put away his gun. "Now let me see, where was I?" asked Hook. "Oh dear, dear, dear Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? It ain't good form, you know." Smee said. "Good form, Mr. Smee?" asked Hook in a smooth voice first, and then yell angrily as he pushed the table aside and approached Smee and waving his hook. "BLAST GOOD FORM! DID PAN SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!" "Why captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank you might say." Smee said as he removed Hook's coat. "Aye, but throwing it that crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since licking his chops for the rest of me!" Hook said loudly at first and then said in a low voice as he sat down in the chair which Smee brought. "And he's had you by now, captain, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now when he's about, he warns you, as you might say with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Smee said. Speaking off tick-tock, there was a sound of tick-tocking heard. Smee and Hook heard it. Hook's face was in fear. There below his ship was Tick-Tock the Crocodile. When he saw Hook, the crocodile licked his mouth, hungry for a human. Hook screamed. "SMEE!" He screamed as he leapt into Smee's arms "Oh, save me, Smee! Please don't let him get me, Smee! Please! Don't let him get me, Smee! Smee!" He hid behind a chair while Smee went to Tick-Tock. "Here now, shame on you, upsetting the poor captain. There'll be no handouts today. Shoo now, shoo. Go on, go on. Off with you, I say. Go away. Go away, out of here!" And as he said that, Tick-Tock went away. Hook appeared from behind the sheet of the chair. "I-I-Is he gone, Smee?" he said in a scared voice. "Aye, Captain. All clear. Nothing to worry about." Smee said as he tried to relax his shaking captain. "Oh, Smee, Smee. I can't stand it any longer. I tell you I can't!" Hook said as Smee sat him down on the chair. "Now, now, now, Captain, just relax. What you need is a shave, a nice soothing shave. There now" Smee said as he put a towel around Hook's head. The captain sighed. A seagull saw the towel and sat on it and fell asleep as Smee sang. Smee: A pirate's life is a wonderful life A-sailing over the seas Give me a career as a buc… Smee didn't see that he was putting shaving cream on the seagull's bottom. "Captain, you know, I can't help noticing you just aunt been your usual jolly self of late." He picked up a razor and wiped it on a towel. Smee: Give a career as a buccaneer… "And the crew's getting? a might uneasy, Captain. That is, what's left of it. Hmm." He was using the razor on the seagull's bottom and it wiped out her feathers. "Now why don't we put to sea, see? Leave Neverland. Forget Peter Pan. There now!" he put some aftershave on the seagull's bottom. The seagull woke up and in horror, flew away covering her behind. Smee didn't see her go because he was putting some powder on his hand. Smee: Give me a career as a buccaneer… "We'll all be a lot happier, not to mention a lot healthier. Oh!" He put his hands out only to find out he was doing it in mid air. "Captain? Oh dear! I never shaved him this close before." He never dared to look, so he didn't to look for it under the chair. "Don't worry captain, it must be somewhere about." He began to walk off with the chair carrying him. The towel fell from Hook's face and he looked down to see Smee making a fool of himself crawling to find something. "Get up, you idiot!" Hook snapped. "Aye, aye, sir!" Smee said knocking the chair and Hook to one side of the ship. Smee turned around to see him dazed. "Oh, I found it, captain. Good as new." He tried to pull his head off only for Hook to wake up very angry. "Why, you blithering blockhead!" Hook cried, as he held Smee by the shirt and was about to kill him when… "Peter Pan, ahoy!" the patch-wearing pirate called from the watcher. "What? What? Where away?" Hook asked. "Three points off the starboard bow!" the patch-wearing pirate called. Hook looked through his telescope and saw Peter with Wendy, Skippy, and Piglet. "Swoggle me eyes, it is Pan! Headed this way with his girlfriend and her brothers! Mr. Smee, pipe up the crew!" "Aye, aye, sir! Pipe up the crew! Pipe up the crew! All hands on deck!" He said as he whistled "All hands on deck! All hands on deck! All hands on deck!" All the pirates rose up and got into action. "Look alive, you swabs! We've got him this time, Mr. Smee!" He said as he put his red coat back on. "That we have, captain." Hook called to his pirates. "Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!" He went to Smee and put on a red hat with a giant lavender feather stuck in a gold rim band. "I've waited years for this." "That's not counting the holidays, either." Smee said. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Hook ordered as two of his pirates got the cannon ready. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Smee repeated. "A pretty sight, Mr. Smee. Like sitting ducks. All right, men! Range: 42!" Hook said as he used his telescope to pin point Peter, Wendy, Skippy, and Piglet on a cloud viewing Neverland. "Range: 42!" Smee said. "Elevation: 65!" Hook ordered as Smee repeated after him. "Three degrees west!" Smee repeated again. "Steady now!" This time, Smee didn't repeat. He covered his head with his hat and covered his ears. "Steady!" Category:Fan Fiction